Does My Work Really Matter?

I am an idealist and I am constantly examining the context of my efforts as a prof. For the past 2 years I have been intricately and extensively involved in redesigning two graduate programs from the bottom up. Throughout this process I have invested much effort in pulling together multiple shareholder voices (students, school administrators, professors and instructors in various disciplines).

I thought we were working toward a vision of dynamic programs that truly met the needs of P-12 teachers, and I pushed hard toward that end. As course revision paperwork has made its way through all the committees and approvals required by the university, and as faculty worked to create final course syllabi, original goals seem adrift in a sea of frustration and apathy. I feel as if the programs, after so much time and effort, will end up rolling out pretty much as they were BEFORE the redesign process and that makes me sad.

I begin to think I am spinning my wheels, like a gerbil in a cage, expending a lot of effort for very little (or no) results. Hope this cloud of disallusionment moves on soon.