Does My Work Really Matter?

I am an idealist and I am constantly examining the context of my efforts as a prof. For the past 2 years I have been intricately and extensively involved in redesigning two graduate programs from the bottom up. Throughout this process I have invested much effort in pulling together multiple shareholder voices (students, school administrators, professors and instructors in various disciplines).

I thought we were working toward a vision of dynamic programs that truly met the needs of P-12 teachers, and I pushed hard toward that end. As course revision paperwork has made its way through all the committees and approvals required by the university, and as faculty worked to create final course syllabi, original goals seem adrift in a sea of frustration and apathy. I feel as if the programs, after so much time and effort, will end up rolling out pretty much as they were BEFORE the redesign process and that makes me sad.

I begin to think I am spinning my wheels, like a gerbil in a cage, expending a lot of effort for very little (or no) results. Hope this cloud of disallusionment moves on soon.

Writing Day!

Under the pressure of deadlines and a dirty house, I finally was able to use Saturday as a writing day! (Sorry laundry, dishes, dirt and dust...you will have to wait...)

I finished the edits on the main article I began with data analyzed on my faculty improvement leave last fall. A story of an urban middle school working on significant reform...and I have evidence that they are conquering the digital divide and forwarding the cause of social justice...high quality teaching. AWESOME!

Also finished a software review for ISTE on Groovy City Music,a fun program that does a nice job of nurturing users as composers. :) I love playing with new media apps for schools. Nice to have time to explore and dream.

A wonderful day, reminding me that my load is supposed to be 30% research and writing...almost a third! Why can't I find a writing day every week? And why not some time M-F so I do have for my house and husband over the weekend?

Back to my calendar I go...to schedule in those writing days...

Flexibility

With all my moans and groans and introspective obsessions, I sometimes miss noting the wonderful things about life in academia.

This semester I'm teaching one class online, doing administrative work, and spending time at Waite High School, working with teachers and students there with tech integration ideas. Despite all my on campus meetings and administrative responsibilities, I have A LOT of flexibility.

True, I put in 40-60 hours of work each week, but I have plenty of choice in when and where I complete this work. This week, for example, my husband is having surgery. I've been able to be home with him and at the hospital (after resecheduling 6 meetings!), while checking emails from my iPhone, grading papers on my laptop, and corresponding with my online students via wireless connections at the hospital and at home.

Not many have a job with this kind of freedom and flexibility. Guess I should stop my fretting and complaining!

Meeting Mania

A part of my academic life that continues to be a challenge...MEETINGS!

Yes, I know a portion of my time is expected to be service and service is intended to include committee work on campus

(I think I'm supposed to be teaching 75%, research/writing 25%...and ??% service...to total 1??% of my time?)

My current committees include:
BGSU Faculty Development Council
Dean's Faculty Advisory Council (I'm chair)
Advanced Program Council (I'm chair)
A & P Council

and I need to attend (and sometimes run) meetings for:
School of Teaching and Learning (once per month)
Classroom Technology (twice per month)
College of Education and Human Development (once per semester)
Early Childhood Program (once per month)

I meet with GA's, advisees, my cohort coordinator, associate deans and our college accreditation officer...among others

Some of these meetings are interesting, productive and meaningful...many are not.
What does this mean for me and my psyche?

Time in meetings takes away time I can spend teaching, grading, creating, writing, reading, and drinking coffee (oh...I guess I could drink coffee in the meetings...)

Working for balance.

Suggestions?

Balancing Life in Academia VIdeo

For starters...I should listen to myself. :)

Beginning Again

I started this blog in 2007...right...and only have 3 posts? Obviously, I wasn't ready to do more than test this technology tool.

But now...I am ready to put it to use. I need a forum to more critically explore what is happening to me in this professor life that I have chosen. A close friend told me recently that she noticed that I didn't seem happy while on campus...that I was gone alot...presenting at conferences, visiting family, working at Waite High School...and I seemed happier involved in these activities.

Certainly playing with the grandchildren is more fun than sitting in committees, so that's not a revelation; but I am intrigued by my friend's observation and am beginning a process of reflection and elaboration to better understand what is happening to me in these times of change and challenge at the university.

I may find that I don't belong here, after all. Returning to a life of teaching music might be a refreshing change. We'll see...as I blog it out!